Friday, August 27, 2010
$10 Walgreens Giftcard if you spend $30 on Revlon or Nexxus products
This is just because I know my mom LOVES Nexxus shampoo and conditioner, this coupon stuck out to me. Of course they say 'Get $10 off a $30 purchase of select Revlon and Nexxus products' and then when you go to the website it says 'Get a $10 Walgreens gift card with a mail-in rebate'. Anyway, looks simple enough. And if you use these products anyway, here is the website you go to.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Wicked Stepmothers
When I met Nick, I'd just gotten out of a five year relationship with a single father, a full-time single father, and the devestation of splitting up with his son was enough to make me want to take a break from blended relationships. However, Nick was and is perfect for me, and when I met Isabella, then five years old, I couldn't resist. Like a crack head loves his crack, I love single fathers and their children. Hence, another untraditional family was born.
The unflattering label of "stepmother" is a tricky hurdle when all you're trying to do is make life as normal as possible for your new kid. If you're a woman marrying a man with a little girl, it can be even more difficult. When I first began dating Nick, Isabella frankly told me that she would miss his former girlfriend, and that it was "no offense" to me, but that she just wished he was still dating her instead of me. Most women would take offense to this, and I might have, had I not had previous experience with a single dad. And my exprerience taught me the following:
You are not a replacement, a superhero, or a savior.
In my experiences, both mothers were, and still are, scarce in their children's lives, and the most important thing to understand is that they aren't interested in replacing their mothers. The best label for what you are is "parent," which is pretty much a glorified big sister. However, the sooner you embrace this label the easier your transition will be and the easier the role will be to fill. At first, spend time with them as if you are the most fun babysitter on earth. Make messes-- let them play with your makeup and make potions out of your spice cabinet. Take them to get extremely unhealthy food, make tents out of sheets, and talk their dads into letting them skip a bath every now and again. This will let the child know you're fun, you're into them as much as you're into dad, and that you want to hang out with them, too--you're not just over at their house to steal dad's attention away from them.
Then, work your way into the role of an older sibling. Clean up their scrapes, hug them when they cry, help them with their homework and teach them how to do new things. From that point on, you can evolve into a parental figure and start off very slowly with any sort of discipline. Really, the father should be the primary disciplinarian, and while you can, and should, handle more serious behavior issues, the small things should be left to dad. In this way, you aren't trying to be their mother. You are simply the other adult in the household that cares for and loves them.
It takes time for them to see a permenance in your relationship with their single father, and they, particularly girls, are fairly protective of the most important man in their lives. Establishing permenance takes patience, but once the child sees that you're not going anywhere, that you're not scared off, they will become more comfortable with you and more accepting of your relationship with their dads.
Never, ever bad mouth the mama.
You don't like anyone talking bad about your mother, no matter how crazy she may be. The same goes for your stepchild. They don't want to hear anything negative about their mothers, particularly if mom isn't around much and shows a lack of parenting skills. It can be embarassing for them when mom does let them down, so soften the blow by keeping your mouth shut or by reassuring them.
Isabella talks about her mom a lot, especially when she hasn't seen her for a while and is insecure about how much her mom loves her. And despite my negative feelings about the constant disappointment Isabella feels and bad decisions that her mom makes, I bite my tongue. It means something to Bella that I don't say anything negative, and sometimes I even say positive things about her mom. Everyone has some good in them, right? Try, very hard, to find it and exaggerate it into goodness.
You are making a difference.
Whether you feel it or not, you are enriching your stepchild's life because you love them and care for them. Particularly if you are making up for the shortcomings of their biological mothers. It will take time for this to be apparent, and even longer for your stepchild to notice or appreciate it. But it will happen. Be adult, be mature, realize that this is a kid--they love their biological parents and they don't want to find fault in them. Try to be aware of the pain that they may be feeling because coming from a split home is devastating for most children. When you want to say something out of impatience, jealousy, or just flat out annoyance, don't.
In the end, you will have a rewarding relationship that extends beyond the bounds of biological parents and children. My sister told me, at the beginning of my marriage to Nick, "Just think of what amazing friends you and Bella will be when she grows up."
I see it now, and she's right. And every time Bella and I laugh about a TV show, gossip about the boys at her school, or pig out on candy together, I remember how grateful I am to have the chance to make a friend like her.
The unflattering label of "stepmother" is a tricky hurdle when all you're trying to do is make life as normal as possible for your new kid. If you're a woman marrying a man with a little girl, it can be even more difficult. When I first began dating Nick, Isabella frankly told me that she would miss his former girlfriend, and that it was "no offense" to me, but that she just wished he was still dating her instead of me. Most women would take offense to this, and I might have, had I not had previous experience with a single dad. And my exprerience taught me the following:
You are not a replacement, a superhero, or a savior.
In my experiences, both mothers were, and still are, scarce in their children's lives, and the most important thing to understand is that they aren't interested in replacing their mothers. The best label for what you are is "parent," which is pretty much a glorified big sister. However, the sooner you embrace this label the easier your transition will be and the easier the role will be to fill. At first, spend time with them as if you are the most fun babysitter on earth. Make messes-- let them play with your makeup and make potions out of your spice cabinet. Take them to get extremely unhealthy food, make tents out of sheets, and talk their dads into letting them skip a bath every now and again. This will let the child know you're fun, you're into them as much as you're into dad, and that you want to hang out with them, too--you're not just over at their house to steal dad's attention away from them.
Then, work your way into the role of an older sibling. Clean up their scrapes, hug them when they cry, help them with their homework and teach them how to do new things. From that point on, you can evolve into a parental figure and start off very slowly with any sort of discipline. Really, the father should be the primary disciplinarian, and while you can, and should, handle more serious behavior issues, the small things should be left to dad. In this way, you aren't trying to be their mother. You are simply the other adult in the household that cares for and loves them.
It takes time for them to see a permenance in your relationship with their single father, and they, particularly girls, are fairly protective of the most important man in their lives. Establishing permenance takes patience, but once the child sees that you're not going anywhere, that you're not scared off, they will become more comfortable with you and more accepting of your relationship with their dads.
Never, ever bad mouth the mama.
You don't like anyone talking bad about your mother, no matter how crazy she may be. The same goes for your stepchild. They don't want to hear anything negative about their mothers, particularly if mom isn't around much and shows a lack of parenting skills. It can be embarassing for them when mom does let them down, so soften the blow by keeping your mouth shut or by reassuring them.
Isabella talks about her mom a lot, especially when she hasn't seen her for a while and is insecure about how much her mom loves her. And despite my negative feelings about the constant disappointment Isabella feels and bad decisions that her mom makes, I bite my tongue. It means something to Bella that I don't say anything negative, and sometimes I even say positive things about her mom. Everyone has some good in them, right? Try, very hard, to find it and exaggerate it into goodness.
You are making a difference.
Whether you feel it or not, you are enriching your stepchild's life because you love them and care for them. Particularly if you are making up for the shortcomings of their biological mothers. It will take time for this to be apparent, and even longer for your stepchild to notice or appreciate it. But it will happen. Be adult, be mature, realize that this is a kid--they love their biological parents and they don't want to find fault in them. Try to be aware of the pain that they may be feeling because coming from a split home is devastating for most children. When you want to say something out of impatience, jealousy, or just flat out annoyance, don't.
In the end, you will have a rewarding relationship that extends beyond the bounds of biological parents and children. My sister told me, at the beginning of my marriage to Nick, "Just think of what amazing friends you and Bella will be when she grows up."
I see it now, and she's right. And every time Bella and I laugh about a TV show, gossip about the boys at her school, or pig out on candy together, I remember how grateful I am to have the chance to make a friend like her.
THE BEST BANANA CRUMB MUFFINS EVER!!!!
I have made them 6 times since I found this recipe! Everyone who tries them, LOVES THEM! IF you want to impress someone, this is what you bake!
Ingredients
Directions
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Moms at the Swings...
So, when I first started to go to 'the swings' close to our apartment, I met a lot of moms. I actually had about 10 new numbers in my phone from moms I had met at the park. I started to wonder one day 'If I want to have a play-date for Emma so badly, why dont I pick of the phone and call one of these moms?'
Then, looking back on my initial conversations with them, I realized why I didn't. They all asked me the same 3 questions. What does your husband do? Do you rent or own? What classes do you have your daughter in?.....Seriously....Thats why I didn't call them. I should have said "my husband is a garbage man, we live with my parents because we cant afford rent, and I dont believe in baby classes." Then I would have never got their numbers and wouldn't be in this predicament.
Furthermore, these 'classes' they are putting their 3month olds in are swimming and tumbling and music class? REALLY? And they are like $900 for once a week classes for 12 weeks. I am just watching them push their babies in the swings as they hang like limp dolls, drooling all over themselves. I am glad those classes are working out for you.
The Scarlet "F"
Hello, my name is Melissa, and I chose not to breastfeed.
I truly do think we, and there are very few of us, and we are marked with a scarlet "F" (FORMULA FED), need our own support group. We know the benefits of breastfeeding, we are inundated with statistics, health benefits, and even bribes ("You will burn 600 + calories a day!"), but we have still chosen, for whatever reason, to formula feed our children.
What kind of woman, what kind of mother, chooses to bottle feed when she could breast feed her child? What kind of monster does such a thing?
Nevermind that some mothers spend weekends partying it up and leaving children with nannies or grandparents, never mind that some mothers take their children with them on illegal drug dealing vacations, never mind that some mothers leave their babies and young children in the car when they go places, even locking them in the car with the keys, but I am a terrible mother because I don't breastfeed.
Maybe women with DD cup-sized breasts just don't want to add an extra ten pounds to their chests for six months; maybe we aren't up for having to keep our arms akimbo all day because we can't lay them flat at our sides. It seems to me, and this is just my experience, that the biggest breastfeeding campaigners are also members of the "itty bitty...." fill in the rest.
I truly do think we, and there are very few of us, and we are marked with a scarlet "F" (FORMULA FED), need our own support group. We know the benefits of breastfeeding, we are inundated with statistics, health benefits, and even bribes ("You will burn 600 + calories a day!"), but we have still chosen, for whatever reason, to formula feed our children.
What kind of woman, what kind of mother, chooses to bottle feed when she could breast feed her child? What kind of monster does such a thing?
Nevermind that some mothers spend weekends partying it up and leaving children with nannies or grandparents, never mind that some mothers take their children with them on illegal drug dealing vacations, never mind that some mothers leave their babies and young children in the car when they go places, even locking them in the car with the keys, but I am a terrible mother because I don't breastfeed.
Maybe women with DD cup-sized breasts just don't want to add an extra ten pounds to their chests for six months; maybe we aren't up for having to keep our arms akimbo all day because we can't lay them flat at our sides. It seems to me, and this is just my experience, that the biggest breastfeeding campaigners are also members of the "itty bitty...." fill in the rest.
Monday, August 23, 2010
EASY AND YUMMY "Chicken and Rice Casserole"
I really like making this chicken and rice casserole during busy week nights. It only takes a few minutes to assemble and my hubby loves it.
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour, 10 minutes
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour, 10 minutes
Ingredients:
2 cups uncooked Minute Rice
1 package Lipton's Onion Soup Mix, dry
1 cup water
Boneless, skinless chicken (About 12 small thighs or 6 large chicken breasts, cut in half.)
McCormick's Montreal Steak Seasoning (or any other seasoning you prefer.)
1 can cream of chicken soup, mixed with 1 1/2 cups chicken broth (or water)
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (optional)
1 package Lipton's Onion Soup Mix, dry
1 cup water
Boneless, skinless chicken (About 12 small thighs or 6 large chicken breasts, cut in half.)
McCormick's Montreal Steak Seasoning (or any other seasoning you prefer.)
1 can cream of chicken soup, mixed with 1 1/2 cups chicken broth (or water)
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (optional)
Preparation:
In 12 x 9 baking dish, pour the 2 cups of uncooked Minute Rice. Sprinkle the dry soup mix over this evenly. Pour the one cup water over rice and soup mix. Arrange the chicken pieces on top of the rice; sprinkle with the Montreal seasoning to taste.
Pour the cream of chicken soup/broth or water mixture over all. Sprinkle with cheese if desired. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees F for about 60-70 minutes. Let it sit for about 5 minutes or so before serving. Makes about 6 servings.
In 12 x 9 baking dish, pour the 2 cups of uncooked Minute Rice. Sprinkle the dry soup mix over this evenly. Pour the one cup water over rice and soup mix. Arrange the chicken pieces on top of the rice; sprinkle with the Montreal seasoning to taste.
Pour the cream of chicken soup/broth or water mixture over all. Sprinkle with cheese if desired. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees F for about 60-70 minutes. Let it sit for about 5 minutes or so before serving. Makes about 6 servings.
*You can substitute other cream-of soups, like cream of mushroom, if you want.
*You can also use whole grain for a healthier option and leave off the cheese.
Welcome to our blog!
Recently, my sister, Melissa, and I were talking on the phone (which we do 2-3 times a day) and we talked about starting a blog for all moms who were going through what we are going through. Just the every day mom activities, challenges and day to day routines. We are going to post recipes, coupons, sales, stories (funny) and cool things to do in your area with your kiddos. Melissa lives in El Paso, TX and I live in NYC, so you will get the best of both worlds! Welcome to Moms and Babes!!!!
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